A new threat, the "unzipmy.exe" virus, is about to wreck havoc on hard drives and motherboards worldwide.

If you will recall the recent "Punchin' the Clown" virus hijacked browsers and sent thousands of people to really hot porno sites. It received very few complaints in general.

If you get the "unzipmy.exe" virus it will format your hard drive, delete your mouse and install a "Caitlyn Jenner" in a bikini screen saver that won't go away, even when you close your eyes.

If your computer shows any of the following symptoms it is probably infected:

  • Your sound card begins to play the "Im Too Sexy" song sung by Darth Vadar, even if you don't have a sound card.
  • Your toilet is plugged
  • You begin to question reality whenever you think of the Einstein sticking his tongue out photo.
  • Every time you put your nose on your screen it looks like it's made of little tiny dots.
  • You suddenly notice that someone has cut cheese but you are the only one in the room.

The President and founder of "Notworking Associates?", Jimmy McCoffee offers these simple minded instructions.

First unscrew the back of your computer. Be very sure to remember which direction the screws are pointing so you can put them back in later.

Next open the case and spray the motherboard thoroughly with Lysol Disinfectant. This will insure your computer will be virus, germ and bacteria free.

Once you restart your computer you will not have to worry about catching the unzipmy.exe virus. But first be sure to open the windows to let out the smoke.

Posted Mar 2016

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