The About of Revelations
In the beginning...
there was a man. And the man he spoketh unto a woman. He sayeth, "Woman, let us lay unto the back of a turtle. And the turtle's name was Flotzy. And Flotzy walked upon the sea and unto the land of Babylon. And there the man and the woman bore a child and his name was Grudge. It behooved the man and the woman to gird Grudge with cloth of white and pins. Then the moon rose and when the woman opened the cloth it was revealed unto her a great load. And the man was glad he did not see.
Then the child became a man. And he learned to reveal his loads unto the eyes of the world. The world was ablaze with money changers and wars. When the world saw the great loads they spaketh saying, "Thanks. As if things aren't bad enough." So the people turned away and watched Babylon's Next Top Model. And Grudge looked too and what he saw was good and firm. But the firm was parted by a valley of cleavage. And Grudge looked down unto that valley and could not turn away. And the valley looked sweet and hot and Grudge wanted to put his nose unto that valley. Then Grudge he becameth hot and firm too. So he roseth. Unto the bathroom he walkedeth smiling and locketh the door.