It is my own personal theory that you can tell a lot about someone by
what they look for on the World Wide Web. So what does our remedial
President search for on the web? I decided I would find out and proceded
to build a device to monitor the electromagnetic radiation from his computer
screen ala Tempest.
I rummaged through my basement and constructed my very own Tempest device
consisting of parts from an old electric can opener, a 5 inch tv, one old sock
and a can of Draino.
I then climbed into my tree suit and stood undected on the side walk outside the
White House gates until well after dark. Through a shaded window I could see
the outline of a personal computer then a man's shadow appeared and sat
at the keyboard. Was it him I wondered? Then the shadow of a finger rose
and drilled deep into the man's nose. Yesssssssssss! Jackpot!
Here is a list of keywords entered by our fearless leader into assorted search engines
as he surfed the cybersea that night.
Prime Minister Japan Bush puke picture
How to chew gum and walk
musical toilette seats
illuminati coffee mugs
donald duck snow white sex
canes that turn into swords
shoe laces for dummies
windows solitaire cheat codes
Why don't airplanes have feathers?
Britney Spears nipple clamp auction
who is Shicklegroober?
"I'm with Stupid" underwear
reverse charges phone sex
hotline psychic madame cleo naked
low-cost gargoyle showerheads
armpit sound files
tarzan cheetah swinging singles
Hitler dancing movies
How do I clean dirty Pictures?
nuclear warhead suppository
download federal budget demo
Police baffled on cause of death.
Don't expect a lot of coverage from the Liberal Press, we only get coverage
when a DemocRAT is involved.
UPDATE: After two weeks Medical Examiner reports cause of death an accidental blow to the head.
Accident or not, the media's silence on this story has been deafening.
EINHORN IN PRISON AFTER EXTRADITION FROM FRANCE.
Ira Einhorn, also known as "The Unicorn" says he was framed for murder
because of his knowledge of Soviet and U.S. mind control technology.
Just what did Einhorn know?
SPINMEISTERS APPLAUD MISSILE DEFENSE SYSTEM!
On the third test of the Bush Regime's
Star Wars Missile Defense system the target
has been destroyed. Wow!
We knew the target missile's launch location
and when it would be fired. What path it
would take, it's trajectory, speed, altitude,
weight, size and design. Kept in radio contact
with the launchers and then positioned ourselves
hours beforehand for the best shot and on the
third attempt we hit it.
Now let's work out the math for the Missile Shield.
All we have to do is know when an enemy will
launch his missile and from where. What path it
will take, it's trajectory, speed, altitude,
weight, size and design. Then position ourselves
hours before their sneak attack for our best shot.
Then we have reduced the odds to a one in three
chance of saving New York from being toast.
Without all the advance knowledge it would be
kind of like trying to hit one bullet with another
bullet from a mile away. Which leads me to
conclude that the best Missile Defense is Negotiation.
MISSING INTERN HAD A COMPUTER!!!
The FBI reports that missing intern Chandra Levy's
computer had been used on the night she dissappeared.
Investigators have contracted "Happy Joy Data Recovery
and Buffet with Clean Rest Rooms" who have retrieved
the following text from the intern's hard drive.
MRBIGSTUD4U: A/S/L?
SXYNTERN38DD: 24 F Ca
MRBIGSTUD4U: So, how are you tonight?
SXYNTERN38DD: Fine, and you?
MRBIGSTUD4U: I like your profile picture :)
SXYNTERN38DD: TY ;)
MRBIGSTUD4U: Don't those rings hurt?
SXYNTERN38DD: Only when I sleep on my tummy.
MRBIGSTUD4U: :o
MRBIGSTUD4U: Are you home alone?
SXYNTERN38DD: Yes
MRBIGSTUD4U: What R U wearing?
SXYNTERN38DD: I'm naked
MRBIGSTUD4U: mmmmm do you have another picture?
SXYNTERN38DD: No, sorry
MRBIGSTUD4U: :(
MRBIGSTUD4U: I have a webcam
SXYNTERN38DD: kewl
MRBIGSTUD4U: my GF is over, wanna watch?
SXYNTERN38DD: K
MRBIGSTUD4U: What is your credit card number?
MRBIGSTUD4U: Hello?
MRBIGSTUD4U: are you there?
MRBIGSTUD4U: hello
MRBIGSTUD4U:
MRBIGSTUD4U:
MRBIGSTUD4U: can I add you to my buddy list?
MRBIGSTUD4U: still there?
MRBIGSTUD4U: want my e-mail address?
MRBIGSTUD4U:
MRBIGSTUD4U: hello?
The FBI's internet expert is still trying to determine the meaning
of this text and it's secret codes.
CHRISTMAS IN JULY!
TVSA3 runs in a DOS Window on PCs with a simple command line. Please read TVSA3 instructions carefully for accurate results. Here are some
sample GW Bush .wav files I processed through the software.
Some political .wav files you can do yourself.
NOTE: I am not a Lawyer but I doubt if any Politician making public statements before microphones to be heard by
millions of people can have a reasonable expectancy that no one will ever run their remarks through VSA software.
There are many experts that believe Voice Stress Analysis is not an accurate method of lie detection. I am not an expert but as for me...
...Merry Christmas.
KODAK MOMENT!
BUSH GREETED BY OVER A THOUSAND MOONIES IN SWEDEN!
LETTER FROM DICK ARMEY TO ATTORNEY GENERAL ASHCROFT ON
USE OF "CARNIVORE" INTERNET SURVEILLANCE SYSTEM.
CRACKED DOCUMENT
REVEALING NAMES OF THOSE RESPONSIBLE FOR "CARNIVORE".
I'm sure they won't mind their privacy violated.
THIS WELL DOCUMENTED ONLINE BOOK HAS BEEN AROUND FOR YEARS. A MUST READ.
BOGUS POTUS TELLS YALE STUDENTS WITH C GRADES:
"YES, YOU TOO CAN BE PRESIDENT."
Sure they can, Bogey, so long as they have a brother that blocks 8,000
blacks from voting against you in a key state.
The New York Observer tapes Skull and Bones Frat Initiation!
More Elite in Robes and Secrecy or "Mr. President, what are you doing under that hood?"
Alright so it's not really the devil they pretend to worship at Bohemian Grove. It's
a giant owl, a Kabbalist diety known as "Moloch".
The New Advent Catholic Encyclopedia's definition of Moloch says the horned bird craves the burning of children
in ritual sacrifice. Burning children? I wonder if even the devil would stoop that low.
****************
#24 TO GO.
A few days after our spy plane made it's emergency landing in
China and the subsequent holding of our airmen hostage, I
found myself in Wal-Mart. The purpose of my trip to Wal-Mart
was to purchase an new clock radio after my old one met an unfortunate
fate when the alarm accidentally sounded on my day off.
Whenever possible I like to "buy American", so as I rummaged
through the various models I
noticed that every single one I looked at was "Made in China".
Recalling the words of various morning radio motor
mouths weighing the possibility of going to war with
the Evil Empire to free our airmen, I smiled. "Yeah, right!",
I thought, "The United States of America is going to go to
war with China and cut off our supply of clock radios? No way!".
The Chinese would not release our airmen until we issued an
apology for invading their airspace. Cowboy Bush strutted the
halls of the White House declaring he would not apologize for
something we didn't do.
Then a brainstorm struck and the puppet masters
thought, why not use a magic word? A word that translates
into Chinese as "sorry" and yet, does not mean "sorry".
Yes folks,
if you buy the spin, the White House knows the Chinese language
better than the Chinese. Ha ha we fooled them. Perhaps it was in
the spelling of the word "sorry", maybe it was spelled "$$$$orry"?
Well, as you know, the 24 airmen have been released. The Chinese
now have our latest spy toys and anyone in data recovery can tell
you they will soon know what was on those hard drives.
We will just have to build another spy plane and start over,
after all we have to keep abreast of all the Chinese super
secret clock radio technology.
MARC RICH....
did business with Iran 20 years ago and was judged a criminal for it.
Dick Cheney's "Halliburton" opened an oil drilling operation in Iran just
2 years ago, now listen to the media roar.
Hey! Who dropped
that pin?
Click here for story.
MEDIA MUTE ON BUSH BUDDIES JADED JOY RIDE!
Yeeee-Haaaaaaa!!
The First 100 Daze!
HOW PUPPETMASTER, KARL ROVE, ENGINEERED THE "CLINTONS STOLE GOVERNMENT PROPERTY" STORY!!!
BUSH FIRES FIRST SHOT IN HIS WAR WITH THE CLINTONS!
UPDATE: 02/19/01
On Bush's first day in office the Media pundits declared that Bush hit the ground running.
The truth is Bush hit the ground squatting.... all over the Clintons. Bush claimed he would
restore "dignity and integrity" to the White House. Is that defined by covertly orchestrating a smear campaign
against a former President while publicly proclaiming you are above that smearing?
Is Al Gore a contender in 2004? Not likely as his contesting the Florida election was political suicide. A kamikazi mission and
Al Gore knew it. He gave his political life for his country. On top of playing the "Gore/Pinnoccio" card the republicans can now
claim Gore tried to steal an election that even the highest court in the land declared was "fair".
In the next four years the Clintons will be Bush's harshest critics and accurate takers of potshots at the Bush Tush.
Either Bill or Hillary could run against Bush in 2004 so by extension an attack on Bill is an attack on Hillary.
Reducing the Clintons to a level of trailer park trash and then failing to produce any real evidence
is unpresidential and small minded. Of course how can we expect Bush to be Presidential if you get my meaning,
if you catch my drift
Bush managed to keep the story alive in the press by repeatedly declaring
it was time to let the matter rest and saying the trashing doesn't bother him. Well Duh, Duh-bya how can you be bothered by something that never happened?
This also sets the pattern for what we can expect from the Bush White House. Four years of "unnamed sources...",
"witnesses said...", "reports from...", "a high ranking official said...", etc. etc, etc, in short, good old fashioned Propaganda.
Let's not forget the rent-a-thugs will likely be back in one form or another when needed.
If waging a covertly controlled smear campaign is how Bush will deal with his critics how then will he deal
with critics who carry less weight than a former President?
One Gore supporter did admit he clipped the "W" from a White House typewriter but that begs me to question if the only "W" missing
from the White House is the real one.
New rules I'd like to see to make SuperBowls more Super!
There should be three teams on the field rather than two, with each
player carrying an aluminum baseball bat. Knocking the helmet
off the head of an opposing team member with the bat is an automatic
20 points.
If that's too violent for you then another suggestion is that all the
players must walk instead of run.
The game would be prerecorded and the tape aired later in fast forward. This would give the
simulation of "action" and would result in less injuries.
For the spiritually inclined among us, all the members of the losing team must do a hundred hours each of community service.
A few more last minute suggestions:
Throwing a member of the opposite team, who has the ball, over your own
goal post is a thousand points.
The mascot of the losing team is given ten seconds to start running across the field,
in costume, before the entire winning team chases him for a pile up.
After the game instead of the camera crews following the players into the
shower room they follow the cheerleaders.
BOGUS POTUS ROUNDUP
* POTUS = President Of The United States
"If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck
of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator,''
George W Bush December 18, 2000
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." - Einstein
In Machines We Trust.
PRESIDENT ERECT READS ACCEPTANCE SPEECH!
Spice President erect George W Bush has just delivered his
acceptance speech. A "Spice President" is not to be confused with a
"Spice Girl"; untalented females made to look grand and
handled by wealthy investors seeking a large return for their money.
The big difference here is George Bush is a boy.
Awed media pundits agreed that they were impressed by his ability
to not sound cocky or arrogant. This reporter can't help but think,
"What can be more cocky and arrogant than to feign humility after
using every dirty trick in the book to prevent Florida from completing
the manual recount it was required to do under it's own laws?".
After numerous lawyers, lies, thugs, bugs and facts swept under rugs
the Monarchists have prevailed. Poppy Bush's CIA buds have had
decades of practice manipulating elections overseas and now the
spooks have come home to roost. Still our poor Spice President had
to wait 36 additional days from when his cousin on the Fox network, John Ellis. first
called the election for him and nearly tricked Al Gore into conceding
prematurely.
Finally the Supreme Court Injustices ruled, "Hanging chad? Too bad!"
and put the kibosh on Al for Bush. In a sixty page barristerial babble
they proclaimed a recount would not be fair because Bush might lose. Duh!
One witness claimed he later saw the Supreme Injustices with their
robes hiked up above their knees dancing in a circle and chanting,
"Nya-Nya, Sore Loser, Sore loser".
In the last two years we have seen the current crop of Compassionless
Conservatives push this nation into two of it's biggest Constitutional
Crises of the past century. Like the spouse of an alcoholic we have
begun a period of collective national denial. America has been
raped and the media pundits are calling it a honeymoon.
As Americans we should be thankful we are not a Banana Republic
where the sort of deceptions unleashed here would have driven
people rioting into the streets.
Hmmmm on second thought maybe those Banana Republics
are smarter than us.
Did self medicating physician/prophet Nostradamus predict
the recent Supreme Court decision on Election 2000 in these lines?
Quatrain 1,81
Nine will be set apart from the human flock,
separated from judgment and counsel.
Their fate is to be divided as they depart.
Kappa, Thita, Lamda, dead, banished and scattered.
More Nostradamus on Bush, Monicagate, Dick Cheney?
MUCH ADO ABOUT VOTING!
While manual recounts continue in Florida, election janitors reported finding 78 chads on the floor,
39 juicyfruit wrappers and one prophylactic. Recounters are still trying to determine if the prophylactic
was meant for Gore or Bush. One election official suggested it may have been used to undermine
the counting of "pregnant chads.".
The Grudge Report caught up with Florida Secretary of State, Kat Harris and
conducted this quick interview.
GRUDGE: This election debacle in Florida, is there some sort of conspiracy here?
HARRIS: Just follow the money, honey. Who has the most to make from this mess?
GRUDGE: The lawyers of course.
HARRIS: Wrrrrrong!!! Let me explain, Sweetie. You got this Voter News Service known as VNS. They
conduct the exit polls, make the predictions, they even tally the votes. You don't think the
Government tallies the votes do you? It's cheaper to hire an outside firm like VNS. Now who owns
this VNS you ask?
GRUDGE: I didn't.
HARRIS: CNN, NBC, ABC, CBS and Associated Press, they own it. People are watching the
news 24/7 and advertisers are paying them top dollar. If O.J. snuffed Lewinksy the networks
wouldn't rake in the dough like they're doing now.
GRUDGE: Yeah, sure! Alrighty now!
HARRIS: Want to hear my JFK assassination theory on the second magic bullet?
GRUDGE: Not really.
HARRIS: Fine! Now just get out of the ladies room.
Meanwhile back at the ranch....
Dry-drunk elect George W Bush's spokesman U. R. Zoezilli continued to
kudo his stand that machine counting is more accurate than manual. This reporter asked Zoezilli
if he uses an ATM card at his bank and if so does he count his money after removing it from the machine.
Zoezilli responded, "What? Not count my money? You think I'm crazy? No red blooded American would
trust a machine to count his money. Machines can make mistakez.".
Thiz haz been ze latezt newz from ze ztate of Texaz. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
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